Becoming a truJOYest
Most of us are chasing a version of happiness that always seems one step ahead—dangling on the other side of a goal, a milestone, or someone else’s approval. We keep telling ourselves, “I’ll feel better when…” But what if joy isn’t waiting in the future? What if it’s already here, quietly growing in the spaces we’ve stopped noticing?
Becoming a truJOYest isn’t about forcing yourself to smile or pretending life is perfect. It’s about remembering what it feels like to be alive in this moment—sunlight on your skin, laughter you didn’t see coming, or a deep breath after letting the tears fall. It’s choosing to plant, water, and tend the moments that matter, even in imperfect soil.
In this post, I’ll share what I’ve learned—from ancient wisdom to modern neuroscience—about cultivating joy like a living, breathing garden. This is the start of your invitation to stop chasing “someday happiness” and start growing the kind of inner joy that lasts.
I remember scrolling through my phone, seeing other people’s curated happiness, yet feeling absolutely nothing inside. In a hyper-connected world, emotional numbness is quietly becoming the norm.
We’re sold the lie: “You’ll be happy when…” When you lose the weight. When you get the job. When you meet the partner. When you buy the house. But that kind of joy is always somewhere in the future—just out of reach.
A truJOYest redefines joy—not as forced positivity or constant happiness, but as a felt sense of aliveness. It’s the warm sun on your skin, a full-body laugh, or the calm in your breath after a long cry. And just like a garden, it needs tending.
1. The Lost Memory of Joy
In the stillness of early morning, before the headlines and emails, there’s a sliver of space. Joy lives there—simple, unmeasured, and often overlooked.
Ancient Wisdom:
- Stoics found joy in presence, not possessions.
- Taoists taught that joy comes from flowing with nature instead of forcing life.
- Buddhists speak of mudita—joy for others as if it were your own.
Modern Insight: Mindful presence activates the brain’s default mode network, improving emotional regulation and well-being.
My Ah-Ha Moment (Before → During → After):
Before: I felt emotionally flat—successful on the outside, disconnected inside.
During: A jasmine-scented breeze one morning cracked something open in me, flooding me with a barefoot childhood memory.
After: I began making time for stillness, noticing the “tiny, beautiful now.”
2. Your Brain on Joy
Your brain is not static—it’s soil. What you feed it grows.
Neuroscience: Joy activates dopamine (motivation), serotonin (contentment), and oxytocin (connection). Repeated joyful acts build lasting neural pathways.
Ancient Wisdom: “Focus shapes reality.” —Yogic and Stoic traditions
My Ah-Ha Moment:
Before: After heartbreak, life felt gray.
During: I started a daily “three things I’m grateful for” list—hesitantly.
After: My brain began seeking beauty again, and it found it.
3. The Masks We Wear
From childhood, we trade authenticity for approval. These masks suffocate joy.
Ancient Wisdom: “It’s better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation perfectly.” —Bhagavad Gita
CBT Tool: Identify and challenge distorted thinking patterns that tell you you’re not enough.
My Ah-Ha Moment:
Before: I hid pain behind smiles.
During: A friend’s “Are you okay?” broke me open.
After: I started journaling my “mask of the day” until one day, I wrote “None.”
4. Planting Seeds – Setting Intentional Joy
Small daily actions shape emotional climate.
Practice: Write three small intentions each morning. Example: Speak kindly. Drink slowly. Smile often.
My Ah-Ha Moment: That single morning act changed my inner pace.
5. Weeding Out What Drains You
Some thoughts quietly choke joy.
CBT Practice: Catch → Challenge → Change.
My Ah-Ha Moment: Realizing not every thought is wise—some are just weeds I’ve watered too long.
6. Water, Sunlight, and Nourishment
Micro-restores—breathing, movement, sunlight—reset emotional balance.
Ancient Wisdom: Ayurveda teaches joy comes from mind-body-spirit connection.
My Ah-Ha Moment: Making time to spend five minutes in nature made me feel human again.
7. Compost – Turning Pain into Wisdom
Pain, when tended, becomes fertile ground.
My Ah-Ha Moment: Grief taught me compassion and surrender. That compost is still growing me.
8. The Daily Ritual – Radical Acceptance & Joy
Rituals root joy.
Practice: Each night, “Harvest & Compost”—write one thing you’re grateful for and one thing you’re ready to release.
My Ah-Ha Moment: This sacred pause became my anchor.
9. Courage to Live Out Loud
True joy requires being seen.
Research: Brené Brown’s studies link vulnerability with joy.
My Ah-Ha Moment: Speaking my unpolished truth in front of others deepened connection—and joy.
10. Connection, Wonder, and Meaning
Joy multiplies when shared.
Practice: Take a “Daily Wonder Walk.” Joy is everywhere—if you’re present.
Becoming a truJOYest is not about chasing joy—it’s about tending it. It’s remembering that your life is your garden. Keep planting. Keep weeding. Keep returning.